I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
