why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
