I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
