thus making me awesome and them whores
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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