The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
