talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
