I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
