Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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