They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Still dying that you shit outside
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
