I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's never too late to be topless.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
