Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
