I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
