now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
