I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
