Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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