woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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