His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
