Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
