Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
