Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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