Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
