His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize