She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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