I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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