I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
