too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize