Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dick very happy bro
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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