we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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