Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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