So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
