when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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