Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
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