i always forget guys have bellybuttons
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
