32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
