So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
