He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
