I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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