Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
