My Higher Power is John Stamos
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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