East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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