We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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