arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
