Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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