Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
