i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize