I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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