i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It's blow job season.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
