Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
