i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
