i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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