Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
