And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
