he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
