So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
