drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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