doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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