I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
