forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
