It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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