Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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