by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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