do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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