Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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