More tranny stories later!
oh god the rape fog is back!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
