I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
