sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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