do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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