just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
