Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
