wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize