a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You've changed since you got that strap on
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
