so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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