so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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