I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
