he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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