you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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