so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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