Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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