every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
