Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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